If you've been a Gator long, you've probably come through Turlington Plaza and seen Joey Johnsen[1], Michael Siemer, Tom Short, or Frank Zaccaro** (picture index below)-- our keynote campus preachers. But, you probably don't know their names, or much about the phenomenon of campus preaching generally. Allow me to enlighten you...or dirty your brain up a bit, depending on your perspective.
**UPDATE: Part 2 is now available (1/15/07)**
To begin, I have had a very interesting convergence of events that I want to share with you, and I'm seriously considering submitting an article to the Alligator, or some freethought mags and newspapers. The other day, I randomly met "Radical Bill", aka William H. Abney, as I was arguing with Tom Short[2]. Bill came up and Tom actually knew him by name, although Bill is obviously a homeless man. The reason, I later came to find out, is that Bill is infamous for his antics involving campus preachers. Bill seemed to know the arguments of creationism well, and he thoroughly mocked Tom for believing "Bronze Age sheepherders" and Bill really stole the show for a few minutes. Tom went for a low blow, saying something about how Bill was poor, and Bill remarked back that the VA gave him money every month, and that he chose to live how he lives and is happy that way.
I never thought I'd randomly run into Bill only a few days later (perhaps a week ago) on the Plaza of the Americas. I ended up sitting in the grass with him and smoking a cigar and chatting for at least an hour. We talked politics and religion and he told me something of his life. He told me about the Danny Rolling years, and he told me about the Gainesville church fires in the early '90s, about his trips to Alaska, about things he'd seen and done. I really enjoyed meeting him.
It just so happens that Bill made it into the Florida Oral History General Collections as entry UF 302 on p.258. He was always involved in campus politics and demonstrations, and was apparently the archetype-antagonist of campus preachers on UF in his day. Who happens to have gotten his start here at UF, and met his wife here, facilitated by Radical Bill?
None other than "Brother Jed", humbly self-proclaimed the "foremost campus preacher" in the US; henceforth known as BJ (snicker). Bill told me that he introduced Jed to his wife Cindy Lasseter, and that she was quite "the disco whore" in her day, rarely sober, ever ready to shag, and certainly unholy. He told me that this chick and he were stoners and used to laugh at and mock the campus preachers, but that she had developed a crush on BJ, and asked Bill to introduce them. At the time, I had no idea who this BJ fellow was, and I thought that Bill might've been joshing me. It turns out he told the truth.
BJ is a rarity among his peers. He has his own Wikipedia article. He has written Who Will Rise Up?, which details his life and ministry. He also has an FAQ from an alt.usenet group made by people he's "touched" with his life's work. BJ is one of the first major traveling campus preachers, and probably has more nationwide name-recognition than any other. He also appears to have founded a "school" to train up others to follow in his footsteps. It appears that we have him to ultimately thank for training/inspiring at least two of our other campus preachers -- Frank Zaccaro and Tom Short. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten to meet BJ yet, although he stars in the gallery of campus preacher pics compiled by past AASA members at UF, and I suspect he'll return some time.
BJ made it into Rolling Stone on March 27, 1986, in their special campus issue (issue #471 -- Bruce Willis on the cover), which had articles about politics and religion on campus from pp. 75-100. The title of his article was "Hell on Campus", by David Handelman. Radical Bill claims he was quoted in the article, and I have submitted an Illiad request to get a copy of the article. After seeing that Bill told the truth about Cindy (read the story she confirmed here, in Who Will Rise Up?, see section 7 -- "From Disco Queen to Gospel Preacher"), I suspect he's telling the truth about being quoted in the article. I'll have more details on that in part 2.[3]
Youtube has numerous videos starring BJ; they have numerous videos of general campus preachers, as well. By far, the funniest video I saw of BJ and Frank Zaccaro (download the .flv HERE) involved a tirade about sex at the U of Oregon that went on and on about how lesboes use dildoes on each other and boys masturbate too much, which causes them to have premature ejaculation. He also promised that if the girls wanted a good orgasm, they should get a good Christian boy who doesn't masturbate and look at porn so much. Not exactly your typical Sunday sermon material, but certainly hilarious.
A blogger posted this video after the visit on May 31, 2006, one that made the newspaper front page there. Some Mizzou students have multiple videos of the same sort of nonsense on their campus, and student comments, dating from last fall's visit. An AAFSA member tells me that Jed practically camps out at Mizzou, and this seems quite reasonable, since he lives so close (near Columbia, MO).
His apprentice/companion Frank Zaccaro is the guy in the video (and here on-campus, hopefully it gets washed once in a while) with the "TRUST JESUS" T-shirt, and usually has this huge sign on a stick attached to a belt that he wears around his waist that says "YOU MAKE ME SICK" and lists: "Rebellious Women, Atheists, Abortionists...Wiccans" [the typical list]. One of the funniest comments on it is that he reviles, "The Cult of the Effeminate Intellect," which, he explained to me, meant "hippy-like 'God is all love' and mushy crap like that." I just thought he was a local, but no! I was talking to him on Tuesday (11/14/06), and I had no idea he was with Jed, or I would've asked him more questions.
One of the most interesting things about these guys, and their apparent organization, is the fact that other Christians probably revile them just as much, if not more, than many of us nonbelievers.
Many times I use the Turlington Plaza webcam to see if these guys are out there. It is obvious when they are, and have a large crowd, but sometimes they don't. A really good question that often comes up is -- why do I bother arguing with these guys?
- I love to argue
- They spew nonsense too often unchallenged
- Some people will believe half of the crap they say without someone out there to make them back up their off-the-wall claims. Some of these claims include faulty statistics about gay people or atheists, or non sequiturs about science, eg Tom Short about evolution and Hitler etc.
- I love to argue
- They are quite entertaining
- I love to get in "zingers" when they expose themselves -- like when they are condemning lust or sex or porn -- most recently, the best one I got off [no pun intended] was in the middle of Tom Short's railing against hypocrisy, which ensued after an argument with a liberal Christian he condemned, and during a pause for breath I asked, "When was the last time you looked at porn?" He paused, said, "It's been a while," stuttered, tried to get back on topic, and I said, "How long ago?" Tom stammered something about, "Well sometimes things pop up on your screen..." Zing!]
- Garbage and lies being forceably pushed on / screamed at people as they peaceably go about their business is wrong; I counter it.
- I know lots of people in their crowds want to challenge them, but are too shy or are afraid they don't know enough about the Bible, my boldness encourages others to join in the fray.
The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by such learned dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe--that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power, and hence a fraud. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent. —H. L. Mencken, Prejudices (fourth series)I just joined a Facebook group protesting the Turlington preachers. You should, too!
Stay tuned for part 2, with more good stuff to come.
[1] I thought it fair to mention that some people are now defending Joey in the Alligator. His defense/dislike ratio is still pretty small, though.
[2] I believed I was the only blogger with articles on Tom at UF, but I was wrong -- the events of last fall, including the arrest of Christine Miller's dad, (see more on her here and here, and a letter from her dad on the situation here) got Tom in the blogosphere before me.
[3] Part 2 of this review will include anything I find interesting in this Rolling Stone article, phone interview details with Ruben Israel, an associate of BJ's; and possibly interviews with Frank Zaccaro and Brother Jed, if they respond to my emails as Ruben did.
Picture index:
- Joey Johnsen (email)
- Michael Siemer (email)
(on the right with Moses/Elijah-beard, also see this pic from here) - Tom Short (email)
- Frank Zaccaro (email)
- Brother Jed (email)
(gotta love that leather vest)
Read all articles on UF's campus preachers here. I have lots of relevant images here.
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